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blog:2025:0723_that_damnable_sexy_mousetrap [2025/07/23 21:35] – created ifixcoinopsblog:2025:0723_that_damnable_sexy_mousetrap [2025/07/23 21:58] (current) ifixcoinops
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 No seriously, if something new happens that I can make fun of then I'll just come back here and update this one post.  AI sucks all the air out of the rest of the internet, here it'll be contained. No seriously, if something new happens that I can make fun of then I'll just come back here and update this one post.  AI sucks all the air out of the rest of the internet, here it'll be contained.
  
-This was originally a thread on Fedi, but I'm putting it here for ease-of-postingness.  It starts off with me being pissed off with google and also pissed off with Proton, so once upon a time...+This was originally [[https://retro.social/deck/@ifixcoinops/112847573063473767|a thread on Fedi]], but I'm putting it here for ease-of-postingness.  It starts off with me being pissed off with google and also pissed off with Proton because they were merrily stuffing their websites full of AI shite that nobody wants The thread devolved quickly into a shitpost and part of a system of shitposts that comes with a **content warning for repeated grievous genital injury** 
 + 
 +===== The First Post ===== 
  
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-"NaNoWriMo" Edition!+**Special "NaNoWriMo" Edition!**
  
 🐰 *lowering dick slowly towards gaping mousetrap* I know you think I shouldn't do this, but have you considered that NOT doing this would actually be problematic? 🐰 *lowering dick slowly towards gaping mousetrap* I know you think I shouldn't do this, but have you considered that NOT doing this would actually be problematic?
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-"NextCloud" edition!+**Special "NextCloud" edition!**
  
 Nextcloud Man: 🐕 Google and Microsoft want you to stick YOUR dick in THEIR mousetrap. Nextcloud Man: 🐕 Google and Microsoft want you to stick YOUR dick in THEIR mousetrap.
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-Proton CEO sucks up to MAGA edition!+**Special "Proton CEO sucks up to MAGA" Edition!**
  
 🐿 Talk me through what happened here, mister Proton. 🐿 Talk me through what happened here, mister Proton.
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-"China (releases open-source AI that uses a tiny fraction of the power to outperform the commercial models)" Edition!+**Special "China (releases open-source AI that uses a tiny fraction of the power to outperform the commercial models)" Edition!**
  
 🦊 SHIT SHIT SHIT JOHNSON GET IN HERE 🦊 SHIT SHIT SHIT JOHNSON GET IN HERE
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-"Classroom" Edition!+**Special "Classroom" Edition!**
  
 🦝 Now pay attention, you at the back.  *whips pointing stick against blackboard*  THIS SHAPE.  Knowing this shape will save you all your dicks. 🦝 Now pay attention, you at the back.  *whips pointing stick against blackboard*  THIS SHAPE.  Knowing this shape will save you all your dicks.
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-"Using Mastodon's Content Warning feature to CW this toot as "vulgar, absurd, genital injury, bad tech, classroom, illustrated, drawing of a dick getting stuck in a mousetrap"" Edition!+**Special "Using Mastodon's Content Warning feature to CW this toot as "vulgar, absurd, genital injury, bad tech, classroom, illustrated, drawing of a dick getting stuck in a mousetrap"" Edition!**
  
 See accompanying illustration, Figure 1 See accompanying illustration, Figure 1
 +
 +{{:blog:2025:6695115646f23fe1.png?500|}}
  
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-"Dan got posted on Metafilter recently and dares his audience to do likewise with his mousetrapdick" Edition!+**Special "Dan got posted on Metafilter recently and dares his audience to do likewise with his mousetrapdick" Edition!**
  
 🦝 betcha THIS thread won't get posted to one of those proper websites 🦝 betcha THIS thread won't get posted to one of those proper websites
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-"Posted on the 27th of January 2025" Edition!+**Special "Posted on the 27th of January 2025" Edition!**
  
 vulgar, absurd, genital injury, bad tech, metacommentary, horrific realisation: vulgar, absurd, genital injury, bad tech, metacommentary, horrific realisation:
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-"The Turn" edition!+**Special "The Turn" Edition!**
  
 A trillion dollars disappeared in a day because someone made a garbage generator that uses fewer irreplaceable natural resources than the current garbage generators, and that makes me think about cobblestones. A trillion dollars disappeared in a day because someone made a garbage generator that uses fewer irreplaceable natural resources than the current garbage generators, and that makes me think about cobblestones.
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-"The Prestige" Edition!+**Special "The Prestige" Edition!**
  
 Now I wrote that last post using bog-standard unremarkable dirty tricks to get you all riled up and seething at the injustice of it all.  Keep repeating the same sentence structures, the same sentences even, chanting, striking rhythmic blows on a hammer to push the idea deeper in, make it want to come out the other side, make you want to boost it, share it, spread it around. Now I wrote that last post using bog-standard unremarkable dirty tricks to get you all riled up and seething at the injustice of it all.  Keep repeating the same sentence structures, the same sentences even, chanting, striking rhythmic blows on a hammer to push the idea deeper in, make it want to come out the other side, make you want to boost it, share it, spread it around.
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-"Holy shit I wrote that post at midnight and when I woke up it had like a thousand boosts which is Big Numbers On Fedi" Edition!+**Special "Holy shit I wrote that post at midnight and when I woke up it had like a thousand boosts which is Big Numbers On Fedi" Edition!**
  
 Asking for boosts, going to bed, waking up and finding them received  Asking for boosts, going to bed, waking up and finding them received 
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-"Microsoft" Edition!+**Special "Microsoft" Edition!**
  
 🐼 Remember Clippy? 🐼 Remember Clippy?
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-"Zoom" Edition!+**Special "Zoom" Edition!**
  
 🦝 Gotta have a chat with the accountant today, better make sure Zoom's updated and will work etc.  Haven't used it in a while. 🦝 Gotta have a chat with the accountant today, better make sure Zoom's updated and will work etc.  Haven't used it in a while.
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-"Proton announced they're closing their Fediverse accounts" Edition!+**Special "Proton announced they're closing their Fediverse accounts" Edition!**
  
 I wonder if part of Proton leaving Mastodon was the folks pointing them to this thread I wonder if part of Proton leaving Mastodon was the folks pointing them to this thread
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-"Windows 11" Edition!+**Special "Windows 11" Edition!**
  
 🐐 *k'snap* AAAAOWWW!  Jesus, FUCK! 🐐 *k'snap* AAAAOWWW!  Jesus, FUCK!
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-"People are actually considering switching to Linux over the whole CoPilot thing" Edition!  Tagged on Mastodon as "Discussion of free and open source software in the context of gratuitous genital trauma, including illustrations"+**Special "People are actually considering switching to Linux over the whole Recall thing" Edition!  Tagged on Mastodon as "Discussion of free and open source software in the context of gratuitous genital trauma, including illustrations"**
  
 🦇 Look, it's very simple.  Which of these would you rather stick your dick in?  The convoluted, intimidating Linux system, or the familiar, simple Microsoft Mousetrap? 🦇 Look, it's very simple.  Which of these would you rather stick your dick in?  The convoluted, intimidating Linux system, or the familiar, simple Microsoft Mousetrap?
 +
 +{{:blog:2025:5735d8d2044154fa.webp?500}}
 +{{:blog:2025:3b055776d3b2b59d.webp?500}}
  
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 +
 +===== That's the thread so far =====
 +
 +I have the thread open in a tab all the time, special, because folk keep sticking their dick in the mousetrap.  They just can't help it.
blog/2025/0723_that_damnable_sexy_mousetrap.1753306517.txt.gz · Last modified: 2025/07/23 21:35 by ifixcoinops

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